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real sergeant…major yell； ‘monica！ lift your feet up！’ and i saw that the rear four had another banner with a red； white； and blue border； and in the middle
we are ready。 are you？
‘what do they want to march them up and down for？’ i said to the barber。
‘i dunno。 i s’pose it’s kind of propaganda； like。’
i knew； of course。 get the kids war…minded。 give us all the feeling that there’s no way out of it； the bombers are ing as sure as christmas； so down to the cellar you go and don’t argue。 two of the great black planes from walton were zooming over the eastern end of the town。 christ！ i thought； when it starts it won’t surprise us any more than a shower of rain。 already we’re listening for the first bomb。 the barber went on to tell me that thanks to miss todgers’s efforts the school…kids had been served with their gas…masks already。
well； i started to explore the town。 two days i spent just wandering round the old landmarks； such of them as i could identify。 and all that time i never ran across a soul that knew me。 i was a ghost； and if i wasn’t actually invisible； i felt like it。
it was queer； queerer than i can tell you。 did you ever read a story of h。g。 wells’s about a chap who was in two places at once— that’s to say； he was really in his own home； but he had a kind of hallucination that he was at the bottom of the sea？ he’d been walking round his room； but instead of the tables and chairs he’d see the wavy waterweed and the great crabs and cuttlefish reaching out to get him。 well； it was just like that。 for hours on end i’d be walking through a world that wasn’t there。 i’d count my paces as i went down the pavement and think； ‘yes； here’s where so…and… so’s field begins。 the hedge runs across the street and slap through that house。 that petrol pump is really an elm tree。 and here’s the edge of the allotments。 and this street （it was a dismal little row of semi…detached houses called cumberledge road； i remember） is the lane where we used to go with katie simmons； and the nut…bushes grew on both sides。’ no doubt i got the distances wrong； but the general directions were right。 i don’t believe anyone who hadn’t happened to be born here would have believed that these streets were fields as little as twenty years ago。 it was as though the countryside had been buried by a kind of volcanic eruption from the outer suburbs。 nearly the whole of what used to be old brewer’s land had been swallowed up in the council housing estate。 the mill farm had vanished； the cow…pond where i caught my first fish had been drained and filled up and built over； so that i couldn’t even say exactly where it used to stand。 it was all houses； houses； little red cubes of houses all alike； with privet hedges and asphalt paths leading up to the front door。 beyond the council estate the town thinned out a bit； but the jerry…builders were doing their best。 and there were little knots of houses dumped here and there； wherever anybody had been able to buy a plot of land； and the makeshift roads leading up to the houses； and empty lots with builders’ boards； and bits of ruined fields covered with thistles and tin cans。
in the centre of the old town； on the other hand； things hadn’t changed much； so far as buildings went。 a lot of the shops were still doing the same line of trade； although the names were different。 lillywhite’s was still a draper’s； but it didn’t look too prosperous。 what used to be gravitt’s； the butcher’s； was now a shop that sold radio parts。 mother wheeler’s little window had been bricked over。 grimmett’s was still a grocer’s； but it had been taken over by the international。 it gives you an idea of the power of these big bines that they could even swallow up a cute old skinflint like grimmett。 but from what i know of him—not to mention that slap…up tombstone in the churchyard—i bet he got out while the going was good and had ten to fifteen thousand quid to take to heaven with him。 the only shop that was still in the same hands was sarazins’； the people who’d ruined father。 they’d swollen to enormous dimensions； and they had another huge branch in the new part of the town。 but they’d turned into a kind of general store and sold furniture； drugs； hardware； and ironmongery as well as the old garden stuff。
for the best part of two days i was wandering round； not actually groaning and rattling a chain； but sometimes feeling that i’d like to。 also i was drinking more than was good for me。 almost as soon as i got to lower binfield i’d started on the booze； and after that the pubs never seemed to open quite early enough。 my tongue was always hanging out of my mouth for the last half…hour before opening time。
mind you； i wasn’t in the same mood all the time。 sometimes it seemed to me that it didn’t matter a damn if lower binfield had been obliterated。 after all； what had i e here for； except to get away from the family？ there was no reason why i shouldn’t do all the things i wanted to do； even go fishing if i felt like it。 on the saturday afternoon i even went to the fishing…tackle shop in the high street and bought a split…cane rod （i’d always pined for a split…cane rod as a boy—it’s a little bit dearer than a green… heart） and hooks and gut and so forth。 the atmosphere of the shop cheered me up。 whatever else changes； fishing…tackle doesn’t— because； of course； fish don’t change either。 and the shopman didn’t see anything funny in a fat middle…aged man buying a fishing…rod。 on the contrary； we had a little talk about the fishing in the thames and the big chub somebody had landed the year before last on a paste made of brown bread； honey； and minced boiled rabbit。 i even—though i didn’t tell him what i wanted them for； and hardly even admitted it to myself—bought the strongest salmon trace he’d got； and some no。 5 roach…hooks； with an eye to those big carp at binfield house； in case they still existed。
most of sunday morning i was kind of debating it in my mind—should i go fishing； or shouldn’t i？ one moment i’d think； why the hell not； and the next moment it would seem to me that it was just one of those things that you dream about and don’t ever do。 but